I am sorry that I could not give more...

In life sometimes we really give our best towards others but we still have not done enough.
I am not talking giving monetary but giving ourselves wholely towards caring for others.
I know we are faced with such humanly limitations and sometimes environmental limitations but that is the best we can do.

No one is perfect and we are bound to hit a speed-bump every now and then. I just don't understand why people don't realize our good intentions and realize that is much as we can do to help.

Whatever I have done good, I hope people see that and not ridicule me. For when I am no longer around, you gonna feel the difference and it will be a big loss. Trust me as this has happened before to the others who have come accross me. We cannot stop time but it's good to stop and appreciate what we have now. When tommorrow comes, we can only remember the good moments, now history.

Whatever I have done bad, I am humble enough to apologise. I can clarify that the reason to my mistakes is because of limitations of my capability and also to human nature which is complicated. We are all different and we have to live with each others differences as it is the only human thing to do.

I have so much pressure from my critics. All are looking down on me and hope to see me fail! They think it will be a bad ending but a good one for them to reap the reward. My failure will be a good time for them to cease the moment and act as the good guy to repair the brokeness.

As a guy, I know where u coming from lah joe! Haha! I am in this game also myself. I may not have the same game plan as you but I can foresee the strategy you are planning.

Then there are others who have threatened me so much that if anything goes wrong they will punish me. Some have told me they would kill me and others have told me they will kick my butt. Mother f*cker you think I some small kampung boy equipped with my sarung and my jamban slipper u can smack. Trust me, you hit me, you better make sure you ready to get hit by me I tell u. U will be freaking sorry man.

I may look innocent and harmless. But I leave my "weapons" at home and they are always ready! My silence all this while has finally been broken. Broken because I have realized that I can no longer be manipulated!

You guys think you are all so darn perfect. But I can challenge you that you got NOTHING.
REALLY GOT NOTHING!

Already at an initial stage people do not have faith in me and are anticipating things to turn out ugly. Automatically I will be the bad person and they can take their chance to have their way with me.

These b*stards do not realize it takes two to tango and not just me. If it was just me I rather live a selfish and self-pity life alone! Then if anything were to go wrong, you can rightfully blame me.
It goes to show how narrow minded you are to think that I am the only bad guy here. I guess this is a reflection on how your own relationship exist or struggles to exist. If you can take swipes at me, now is the time to take swipes at you all.

I have been to nice to you all. But sometimes being nice to people is of no use. I am Catholic and I know it is wrong and I beg God for mercy. However, in order to survive in this "dog eat dog world" I have to adapt to this worldly nature of dealing with such complicated people and sinners. You can burn as much jossticks as you want or pray 5 times a day but you are hypocrites to your belief as all religions teach good things.

Many people for years have told me I am too nice. These people who actually told me this, cared for me and did not want to see me get bullied because I cared for them. No they were not family or blood relation but lay people on the street that were civic contious. They were just normal people who did not need to go overseas to get education and some who did not have education. But they had good emotions and good intentions and just gave me that advise.

I have not created any fictional story here for your pleasure but have brought out the truth base on my experience without any baseless findings. The past that has brought me to the man I am today has taught me so many things and thankfully has given me the experience to cope with what I currently have. Trust me, living away from home for almost 6 years has deffinitely been a turning point in my life where I have learnt so many things and be thankful for.