Sunday, October 17, 2010

Jobless... I have been there.

Photo courtesy of Google Images
I have always wanted to pen this post but found it hard to find the right words. Pls bear with me as begin this grim task. It is hard to gather my feelings of what I went through. It was a valuable learning experience.

I was very lucky to have started my first job in Dell Penang in 2006. I never really wanted to be in Penang. It was a flook shot that my mom found a job vacancy article in The Star for Dell in Penang. I thought of giving it a go for the fun of it. I got the job and was extremely happy beginning to work before I even graduated. Working in Customer Care was a learning experience for an introvert that I was then and the fresh grad without any working experience. I even came from a different line; IT.

It was a good experience. Finally earning my own hard earned money. Working over-time to make even more. The drinks, the parties, the holidays, the clothes, computers, handphones and my Myvi. I was leaving the dream at that time.

In 2008, a stupid feeling kinda hit me telling me I feel like doing more. The temptation was there to jump industry into SAP a business IT industry. I left Dell with great memories and a bit bitter cause I sensed some gap in my team's management. It was not really a Dell fault but human factors.

In September of 2008, I started my IT course in SAP in Kuala Lumpur. It was a month course costing the price of a Proton Saga at that time. It was difficult for me. I was not a very IT kinda person same as to when I was in university and found it hard to keep up with my other classmates. I completed the course with certificate of completion but never could passed the 1 time exam certification.

People must be surely wanting to know what made me go into IT when I didn't not have interest. Honestly, it was pressure from family although they will deny this till my grave. I know they cared for me and wanted to see me do well but may be they overlooked my ambition.

I left KL feeling very sad in early October of 2008. I could not take the gruelling train-rides to KL from Subang where my brother lived. I could not take the high paced life. Not forgetting the high volume of pretentious and fake people in KL.

I returned to Penang jobless for 4 months. I was lost. I depended on my parents to settle bills. This was a moment in my life that I really appreciated my parents and felt truelly blessed! I could not afford my car bills and phone bills as it was eating into my savings.

As I looked at my girlfriend at that time, friends and family going to work each day, I felt a sense of gap from them and especially financially felt the gap from them. I was earning RM 0 a month! I fell into depression. I tried my best to apply for customer service jobs in Penang as I was comfortable in that line and was doing well. I never got the jobs! To make matters worst, the 2008 economic recession hit and Malaysia began to fill the pinch with the American companies established in Penang cutting jobs.

All I wanted was a job then. Anything. Even a job at McD or KFC would have been appreciated. What could I do as I was desperate for a job? Anything would be fine has long I could get some money.

Living without a job when you have commitments was not easy although my commitments may be little for some. It was very depressing. Sometimes I felt of selling and getting rid of everything I owned just to survive. It was hard to be living the high life and just drop to the bottom. Really, I fell.